The story with a thousand comments

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Rob Cockerham, the genius behind cockeyed.com,(and one of the few, the proud, the Honorary Mad Scientists) decided to assemble an “Elite Comment Strike Force!!!” and auction off 1000 blog comments.

Watching this auction on eBay, one of the things that surprised me was the set of “Similar Items on eBay”; Rob wasn’t alone– and the other guys are serious! There are titles like “100,000 US BLOG Visitors to your BLOG! Real Traffic,” and “200 Articles To Boost Your Article Directory/Blog #3.” I hadn’t really appreciated that there was a market for this sort of mercenary blog traffic. I’ll have to keep that in mind next time that I’m a sleazy scum-of-the-internet spam-blog operator!

Do we need to buy hits for our web page? Well, no. It’s not like we have any advertising on this page with which to make money. But we are indeed willing to pay for the privilege of being the web site that was the victim of Rob’s “Elite Comment Strike Force!!!”

Naturally, I bid, along with 23 other eager folks. The final price was $90. (Hey, free shipping!)

So, here it is: This is the story with one thousand comments. Strike force, do your worst!!!

To help get things rolling, here’s a prompt (which you are completely free to ignore): “what are you going to be for Halloween?”

Update: 10/11/2006, 8:28 AM PST 172 comments so far.

Additional prompt (which you are completely free to ignore): “What kinds of apparatus and instruments for helping to take over the world would you like to see instructions for at evilmadscientist.com?”

Update 2: 10/11/2006, 2:13 PM PST 530 comments so far.
More than halfway there! Here is my favorite comment so far, which is from Anonymous @ 152.2.115.201:

“I hope you’ll recycle these comments when you’re done with them. If your local recycling service won’t accept comments, you can always take them out back and compost them. Beautiful new comments will begin to sprout from the pile in just a few days. First there’ll be little tendrils of haiku. Then longer, more robust slogan vines. Let the natural levels of text succession take their course and you can watch a full-grown treatise grow from what was once a jumble of useless, hackneyed comments.”

Update 3: 10/12/2006, 8:21 AM PST 930 comments so far: The home stretch!

I have found it highly entertaining to watch the dynamic of nest building. We start out with comments like “I challenge you to a bet to see whoever can make a comment string nest to the MAX first!” and “I just want this to nest until only one word shows per line.”

And then, of course, we get dozens of comments about the success of that plan of attack: “I find it difficult to read your blog, because I have to scroll horizontally. You may want to consider correcting this.”

By the way, if you’re having difficulty finding a certain post, you can try using the search box near the top of the left-hand column to help find them. It works pretty well.

Update 4: 10/12/2006, 9:51 AM PST 1000 comments! (Well, 1000 including quite a few from persons– such as myself– who are not members of the elite comment strike force, you slackers!)

(Click the “Reply” button below to post a comment.)

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1,193 thoughts on “The story with a thousand comments”

  1. I’m mad, I wanted all of my comments to be one right after the other, but someone made a random shirt comment.

  3. I can’t really remember how many comments I signed up for, I think it was 10…so that is how many you are getting….That reminds me of decasyllabic poetry!

  5. These comments are not nearly as interesting as comments on a typical blog. Probably because the article was so weak to begin with.

  6. I was so intent on writing these that I just looked up and realized that my roommate’s friend had written on my wall…..so I had to watch her clean it off.

  12. This is as much as I can remember of the death of Ophelia:

    There is a willow grows askant a brook
    That shows her hoar leaves in the glassy stream
    Therewith fantastic garlands did she make
    of nettles, crow flowers, daisies, and long purples
    Which liberal shepherds give a grosser name
    but our cold maids do dead men’s fingers call them.
    There on the ……her weedy trophies…..
    her clothes spread wide ….
    bore her up….
    which time she chanted snatches of old lauds
    …or one indued unto that element.
    but long it could not be ’til that her clothes
    heavy with their drink
    pulled the poor wretch from her melodious lay
    to muddy death.

    WHOOPS! A bunch fell out of my head. I wonder if that happened during the college beer days or if I should blame the zoloft…

  14. As to your prompt in your first update…I’d like to see you come up with something that includes a duck’s non-echoing quack, the metal coils on an electric stove, and a healthy dose of E. Coli infested spinach.

    …I’m posting this annonymously and my username that showed up is Anne Onymous. What’d I’d like to know is how’d it know I was a girl?

  15. I’m an ordinary man, who desires nothing more than just an ordinary chance,
    to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants.
    An average man am I, of no eccentric whim, Who likes to live his life, free of strife
    Doing whatever he thinks is best for him, Well, just an ordinary man

    But, let a woman in your life and your serenity is through
    She’ll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome
    Then go to the enthralling fun of overhauling you
    Let a woman in your life, and you’re up against a wall,
    Make a plan and you will find, she has something else in mind,
    And so rather than do either you do something else that neither likes at all.

    You want to talk of Keats or Milton, she only wants to talk of love
    You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching for her glove
    Let a woman in your life and you invite eternal strife,
    Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands
    I’d be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling, than to ever let a woman in my life…

    2. I refuse to respond to this blatant attempt to gain recognition to your own blog without paying the almighty Cockerham his much deserved money.

  17. How am I supposed to know what I will be for Halloween?
    USB drives are so freaking awesome. Agree?

  19. I think I’ll draw a picture,
    something with a twist.
    I think I’ll use a razor blade,
    and draw it on my wrist.
    And as I draw that picture,
    a fountain will appear,
    and as the fountain flows…
    My troubles disappear.

  20. I love haiku. Here’s a personal fav of mine that I ingeniously came up with:

    Outside is a place
    Yes, it is a big, big place
    A person is there.

    My damn English teacher said it should have been about nature. What the hell did she know!?

  21. Congratulations on your winning bid!

    I happen to be a business many in nigeria…would you like to hold some money for me? I will reward you greatly if you just give me your bank account informatin…

    *cough* no? didn’t think so…

    Hey you spent 90 bucks on comments it was worth a shot -.-

  22. hmmm I’m not sure if I’m going to dress up as I have sculpture class and I’m guessing plaster and kitty ears don’t mix:) But I love seeing what people dress up as!

  23. I’m going to wear my schoolgirl uniform for halloween, like I always do. I wanted to be Waldo/Wally from Wheres Waldo/Wally? But I dont think I have the time to sew it all together.

    I work on halloween, so I hope me dressing up will make someones night.

    1. Hey! I did that last year! Wally, I mean! I did it without any sewing, too. I painted red stripes on an old white shirt and…
      oh, wait, I had to do a bit of sewing for the cap, but it was worth it.
      I didn’t let the paint dry long enough and and ended up huffing scary fumes, plus every person I passed thought it was mighty clever to note that they’d found me.
      Fun costume, though.

  26. Why not combine your prompts?
    "What halloween costume should be used in order to take over the world?"

    Maybe something like one of Dr. Wily’s giant robots.

    2. >"What halloween costume should be used in order to take over the world?"

      I say the long skinny piece in Tetris. That thing can be used for either good or evil, it can make or break your game; similarly it can free or take over the world.

  27. You will hit 1000 (or more) before the end of the week.
    Gotta give the latecomers time to notice that the bidding war is over.

    1. Gladiator…gladiator…gladitor….
      Gladiator…gladiator…gladitor….
      Gladiator…gladiator…gladitor….
      Glad ‘e ate ‘er…glad ‘e ate ‘er…glad ‘e ate ‘er….
      Glad he ate her…

  30. never is forever, at least until december!

    does that make ant sense? it’s got some nice rhythm.

  32. Try running BOINC on your computer. You can help search for extra-terrestrials, find a cure for cancer or find pulsars! Check it out: google BOINC.

  36. Gee, I just created an account. Wow, now I can get more spam. Woo Hoo!!!! Thanks to whom ever suggested we all create accounts.

  38. I have TWO costumes this year. see, the first costume i’m doing is with my roommate, because we are going to a "dead" party, so we are going as dead cheerleaders circa 1970.

    1. my SECOND costume is going to be tonks from the hp universe. i’ve got a pink wig, it will kick much ass~!

      1. I’d up that costume one level and get several wigs all different colors and change them every half hour.

  42. I really fell out of the costumre business after college. Maybethis is the time to get back into it. But it takes so much effort! Wah!

  43. I was thinking of going as my girlfriend, and she as I. However, I am also thinking of going as Brangelina. I haven’t figured out how yet. Worst case scenario: I go as myself three hours in the future for yet ANOTHER halloween.

    ~fang

    1. Everyone who has seen the ACTUAL FOOTAGE of the original Star Wars, man, knows this and we should NEVER FORGET! That noodle-nosed SOB had it coming, and no amount of Lucas’ post-editing is going to change the TRUTH!

      P.S. Before George fired me, I had suggested the original NAMES FOR THE ROBOTS: R2, and AM-NOT. I didn’t even get any SEVERANCE PAY.

  50. For Halloween, I’m probably just going to write "asshole" on a t-shirt and be real loud and obnoxious and think I’m always right. So basically, I’ll be acting no different than the way I do the rest of the year, but this time I’ve got an excuse.

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