All posts by Windell Oskay

About Windell Oskay

Co-founder of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories.

Quips, Quirks and Quarks


In the mid 1990’s, many things were considered socially acceptable that no longer are. Among these are jokes about Lorena Bobbitt and/or Tonya Harding, anything having to do with Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and internet humor mailing lists. I am guilty of the latter: From 1994 to 1997 I ran a daily humor mailing list called Quips, Quirks & Quarks, or more commonly QQQ.

The archives of QQQ are on one of my “old” web pages, where you can peruse this vast nearly-organized trove of treasure and trash. The quality of the material varies greatly, and the presentation is an excellent example of web 1.0 (or maybe 0.8 beta) design ethic.

Here are some samples from the collection:

  • From the collection of Quips (the jokes):
    • My wife is very immature– Just tell me if this doesn’t sound immature.
      She’ll barge right into the bathroom when I’m in the tub and sink all
      of my boats!
    • “Doctor, is it really true that eating carrots improves ones eyesight?”
      “Of course. Have you ever seen rabbits wearing glasses?”
  • From the collection of Quirks (the weird):
    • Hi-Tech Haiku:
      the sand remembers
      once there was beach and sunshine
      but chip is warm too
    • roses are red
      violets are blue
      some poems rhyme
      and some don’t

 

  • From the collection of Quarks (the nerdy):
    • Q: What do you do with 56 dead protons?
      A: Barium.
    • Q: Why won’t feminists use Unix?
      A: There aren’t any woman pages.

 

  • From the collection of One liners:
    • Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
    • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

 

 

Halloween project round-up

Headless horseman

Woo-hoo! We won the grand prize in the MAKE & CRAFT Halloween contest for our set of halloween projects!

    Just in case you missed them, here they are:

Apparently the world was ready for the invasion of Cylon Jack-o-lanterns— They made it onto TV, into magazines, and presumably onto a lot of front porches as well. Lots of people made their own and we’ve rounded up a list of some of the Cylon pumpkins (and umbrella-bat costumes) that we spotted this year. Read on to see where they showed up!
Continue reading Halloween project round-up

(Lego) Life on the moon

My little sister Lauren, a member of the Evil Mad Scientists Junior Auxiliary, sent in these pictures of her Lego astronauts kicking back and enjoying life… on the moon. It looks like they’ve had to restrain themselves with some lunar spider webs to avoid trouble due to the low gravity. The combination of open goblets with the space helmets is a nice surreal touch.

Making Crafty Fridge Magnets

Food comes in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and packages. Your kitchen cabinets, pantry drawers, and refrigerator shelves are already filled with marvelous little boxes and baggies of goodies. Some of these are cultural icons, others are silly modern wonders of neo-retro design.

You may even have your own little collection of interesting little containers in the form of left-over little boxes of candy from Halloween. What can you do with all these things?

Make them into an awesome array of fridge magnets!
Continue reading Making Crafty Fridge Magnets

Easy Itty-Bitty Blinky LED Jack-O’-Lantern

Halloween is tomorrow! Do you want to bring a carved pumpkin to work, but aren’t allowed to burn candles in your cubicle? Do you want to carve a mini-pumpkin that’s simply too small for a candle?

Or are you just running late and need to make a procrastinator’s pumpkin?

If you said yes to any of these questions, we just might have the solution that you’re looking for. Here’s an easy way to make a tiny blinking-LED jack-o’-lantern.

The blinking LED circuit is borrowed from a Tirefly, a commonly available type of motion-sensitive light that attaches to the valve stem on the wheel of a bike or car. Our quick modification (less than five minutes and no soldering) defeats the motion sensor so that the LED can blink all day (or all night) for you. (For hardened geeks who want to solder something anyway, we’ll also show you how to mod the circuit to use a higher-capacity battery.)

[Update: (10/2008) A reader wrote in that they have had trouble getting the circuit to blink continuously; the tirefly circuit may have been changed. (Confirmed– It has changed!) Do any other readers have recent success or failure to report?]
Continue reading Easy Itty-Bitty Blinky LED Jack-O’-Lantern

Building a Robotic Dalek Pumpkin

EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!

We Evil Mad Scientists like Halloween. A lot.

You might have already seen our old-school Cylon Jack-o-lantern. Here is another halloween electronics project, hopefully in time for you to make your own: It’s a radio-controlled robotic Dalek that can move around and turn its head. Oh, and did I mention that it’s a pumpkin?
Continue reading Building a Robotic Dalek Pumpkin

Make A Cylon Jack-O-Lantern

It’s a pumpkin! It’s a Jack-o-lantern! It’s an electronics project! It’s… a Cylon!

Cylons are great. They’re evil, menacing, and shiny. They have glowing red lights, computer-monotone voices, and they aim as precisely as imperial stormtroopers.

For halloween this year, we made Cylon Jack-o-lanterns in both large and small versions.

The design consists of two parts, a pumpkin-carving part and an electronics part. The big idea, of course, is to make the Cylon’s red eye scan back and forth.

How well does it work? Take a look! (Youtube)

This week’s Weekend Projects Podcast at Make Magazine is about making a programmable LED pumkin.

Our Cylon is made with a very different approach. It runs on a 9V battery and uses two cheap integrated circuits (a 555 and 4017) that together control six LEDs (or six groups of LEDs).

Circuits like this are quick, easy, and cheap to build. It’s also fun merely from the standpoint of making something that people might expect to require a microcontroller. For this particular circuit, it turns out to be cheaper and faster to do it without one.

If you’re handy with a soldering iron, you can build this circuit for less than ten dollars, in less than two hours, without any programming at all.
Continue reading Make A Cylon Jack-O-Lantern